On Marriage

On Marriage

“Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.  
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.  
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
                   1 Corinthians 7:1-5
It’s interesting here that Paul states that it’s good not to marry. But Paul realized that while it was good for him it was not for everyone.
Paul also knew of the temptations that were around Corinth. Temptations that could easily make people sin.
Thus he makes it clear that each man should have his own wife. That the husband and wife are equals in that their bodies are not solely their own but each others.
He makes it clear not to deprive each other of sexual relations except by mutual consent for a short period of time when devoting themselves to prayer.
Paul is very cognisant that the God given sex drive in people can cause people to sin.
Kenneth L Barker writing in  Zondervan NIV Study Bible (Fully Revised): © 2002.  Writes,
“The Christian deprived of regular sexual activity with his or her marriage partner may be tempted by Satan to sexual immorality. The normal God-given sexual drive in the human being is strong.”
Paul also goes on to address the issue of widows in the church stating,
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.  
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 
          1 Corinthians 7:8,9.
Again for the same reasons they should marry.
This is as clear cut as I think it could be. Marriage to me is God’s ideal and the husband and wife are one. No one has the right to come between them.
Leo Baeck a Jewish writer wrote something the apostle Paul would understand. He wrote,
“The fence of the Torah has surrounded family life with particular care.  A strict and pure conception of matrimony which could be found nowhere in the ideas of antiquity was freely developed by Judaism.  The ancient statute already saw marriage a ”sanctification,’ and therefore an ethical task to be performed; only husband and wife together, united for life, being the spirit of God, the spirit of holiness, into the home.”
A good marriage. A marriage based on love will endure no matter what.
I believe when entering marriage we must examine closely what love is. Paul said,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
Love never fails.” 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
I have also found the words of Paul to the Ephesians to be valid. He says,
“In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"
                                                                                                               Ephesians 4:26
There are times in even the best marriages when you have disagreements. Times when emotions can flair. We are human and from time to time we will have opposing views, or simply do something that irritates our spouse.
My wife and I even before we were married practised the principle of not letting the sun go down while we were angry.
We never left each other angry even if it meant talking until the small hours of the morning.
All too many marriages end in divorce because it has been entered into, too quickly, with out much thought simply because it felt good to be around the person, or for purely sexual reasons.
We need to examine why we are getting married carefully. There will come a time in any marriage that the feel good things are not there. Times when life is hard and that good feeling when the marriage was new has faded at least for a while. It is through those times when love is tested. But true love will prevail. Read the words of Paul with respect to love again,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
Love never fails.” 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
A good healthy marriage based on love will survive even the harshest trials of life.
Think about it.